Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Well, I've done it again ... I've left you hanging and probably wondering "what's going on with johnny". Let's see, since SEPTEMBER, Mom and Johnny have moved back to Navarro Mills. The house in Navarro mills hadn't sold yet and with Johnny's rising medical expenses, it only made sense for her to move back where she had no house payment and rent out the midlothian house. It is actually for sale is anyone is interested. That was a move that was really hard on me because I really enjoyed having my family so close. Jackie did not want to move again, she was established in high school and had many friends she didn't want to leave behind ... After much prayer it was decided she would live with Mickey and I for good!! No more moving for Miss Jackie. It was hard for her to choose living apart from her daddy but this is truly what he would want for her ... We believe anyway. We see Johnny often. It's so sweet how he lights up when he sees her. Johnny changed almost immediately, living in the country is where he has always thought of as home. Of course there wasn't much to do on the inside because the house was already set up for Johnny. We just needed to move their stuff back in. This adventure was much like a gigantic spring cleaning!! It's amazing how well you can function on much less!! I'm reading a book by Jen Hatmaker called "7 an experimental mutiny against access", it's very inspiring! If you get the chance you should check it out. Actually all her books are great!! Once mom got all settled in she and Johnny hit the yard. Everything was dying! I don't have to remind my fellow Texans how hot and brutal the summer of 2011 was! My family like many I'm sure are suffering now with the allergies the mild winter has brought. I digress ... Anyway, her yard is magnificent!! You should plan a trip to visit Johnny just to see what she's done with the place!! Mom turned the big barn into a ministry to reach out to families who have been devastated by fire, job loss, anything really. She started taking in donations and now the barn is full. She's calling it Joyful Hearts Ministry. That is such a great description of my mother. She has had so many terrible things happen to her in her life and yet she faces each day with a joyful heart and a love for God. What a legacy she is cultivating for those that love her! Johnny continues to live a happy life. He has therapists that come to the house but we all know his true therapist is our mother! Her dedication to Johnny knows no bounds! Another plus of moving is Dad and Diana are right up the road ... 15 minutes away. They spend Wednesday and usually Saturday or Sunday regularly and most weeks more then that with Johnny. They come get him on the weekend and Johnny gets a change of scenery when they take him to their house. Christmas was really nice this year, we took Johnny with us over to Dad and Diana's and he watched his nieces and nephews open gifts. Loud noises bother Johnny so after a while we had to take him home because he became agitated. It's hard to shoosh kids at Christmas! Christmas eve Jackie spent the night with her daddy. Santa did not disappoint and he always knows where to find us, huh! Johnny seemed to have a really great day! Johnny got a remote control car that can be operated with one finger ... Perfect for him! He was driving that car all over the living room and laughing! So sweet! 2012 came as promised and with it much therapy for Johnny. Also, a lot of insurance headache for mom. Cobra insurance for johnny ran out and Medicare began. Medicare has a whole set of rules and is very confusing. My mom is excellent in sorting through all that and is constantly finding out new things. There really should be an easier way to understand what's going on with your health plan. When you start a new job you have an orientation. Shouldn't there be one to understand the benefits of your health plan. I'm constantly thanking God for putting my mom in charge because I would be lost! Mom was informed recently that therapy on Johnny would end soon ... I can't explain how angry all the red tape makes me! To these people Johnny is just a name on a piece of paper. Come meet him, see his progress, look at the pictures of who he was, talk to his family, meet his daughter. Don't give up on him!!! Luckily my mom uses each therapy session as a learning session and she does most of Johnny's therapy herself. I'm worried about her though, there's going to come a day when she just can't anymore. It's easy to write in this blog and make everything sound great and happy and that life goes on but reality is ... Johnny's accident has been devastating for his family! It's hard every day! A good day for me ends with feeling very guilty that I'm going on with my life and my brother is stuck in a wheelchair unable to perform his own basic needs! The truth is Johnny is unaware ... His brain injury makes it where he doesn't know what he's missing, his family is left to mourn that for him because he doesn't have that feeling. I read his facebook and I know how many of you care for him and write him messages but the truth is he probably doesn't remember you. I'm not sure he remembers me or that I'm just someone that is familiar to him because I'm always around. Oh gosh, I'm doing it again, feeling sorry for myself. I miss my little brother. I miss him! I miss our talks. I just miss him! Of course he knows me! It's just unfair! It's been almost three years since his accident and it feels like yesterday. I wonder sometimes if I'm not praying enough. I know God has a plan. I know he has a reason that this all had to happen. He had a reason that Jackie had to have this hard life. That my mom had to take on the role of care giver. That my baby will never know how funny his uncle is. That my Dad won't be able to go fishing with his son. I know there's a reason ... I just don't know what that reason is. How incredibly hard it must have been for Mary to watch what was happening to Jesus ... Did she have resentment? How could she not? I think of my own boys ... I don't think I could have watched and not stepped in. Mickey is constantly comparing me to a momma lion protecting her babies. Pray for my parents ... Johnny is unaware, but they are not. My parents hurt everyday for Johnny, for his future. I know that God can heal Johnny. If not in this life ... He will walk again. Forgive the ramblings of a heartbroken sister. Love you Johnny, Jen

1 comment:

  1. The one thing Johnny has been blessed with is a loving family and they are troopers at that. Your mom(Nancy) was gracious enought o share parts of her life with me and I learned a lot through her. Ok well I am still learning from her. I haven't seen Nancy in years but I can still see her smile and know that she would have good advice in any situation we would face. Some people we hate to receive advice from but from her it is giving with a loving and non judging attitude which is why God made her a caretaker. She definetly loves unconditionally. Jen you have been blessed with this family as well and I do believe their is a reason that this has happened. Just think of the people Johnny and Nancy will touch when they help the unfornuate from her Barn. They should be able to look and say if they can continue prospering so can we. I love all of you and I do plan on making a trip to visit hopefully soon.