August 23, 2009

Johnny,
It's Sunday, 68 days today...I put Aspercreme on your left hand and rubbed it awhile. I kept telling you to open your hand and you did just a little. Your temp is about 100. They gave you Tylenol at 1:00pm. You have a lot of blood in your urine again. I'll leave a note for the Dr. to see if we can remove the catheter. Also, I'll ask about your right ear, as you point at it and grimace. Love you. Mom

They did take out the catheter and there was blood clotting at the end of it. It's probably good for now that you have it out...I'm just worried about bedsores and skin breakdown now. I was a little disappointed today, I thought you looked so good yesterday, I was excited to see you. It broke my heart when I saw you, you look to me like your in pain and your running a fever. I hate seeing you like this Johnny.

Psalm 118:8
It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.

Oh Johnny, that's what I need to remind myself. We are trusting in moving you, trusting that Texas Specialty is a better place for you, trusting that the pump is going to work, trusting in the insurance to do the right thing by you, trusting in the Doctors, the nurses...the list goes on. What we should be trusting in is the love God has for you, the Lords ability to pull you out of this, to restore you and make you a better man, a whole man. To give you a testimony of what the Lord can do. Why do we put all our eggs in the basket of man? God is all we need...trusting in Him. How can we ever think that we know more than God, that anyone knows more. I'm trusting in the Lord to move you if it's His will. I'm trusting in the Lord to put the perfect plan in motion for the pump, for insurance to do the right thing and have some compassion. I'm trusting that the Doctors and nurses are guided by the hand of God in helping to heal you.

I Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

That's what I'm doing Johnny, I'm praying and believing!

Psalm 37:7
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

I know that's what your doing. Is there a better place to rest...

I love you little brother! XO Jen