August 12, 2009

Johnny, I had not planned to come see you today. I took Jackie shopping in Waxahachie and she was excited to get home and hang her clothes up, etc. I had this overwhelming desire to visit you. Like I just needed to check on you. I told Jackie that I wanted to go and I bribed her with Starbucks. Well, we headed that way. When I walked into your room, you were laying on your left side. You had your right eye wide open but it wasn't moving back and forth like it does. I thought you were dead. I walked closer to you and I could see you were having labored breathing. You had pulled your trachea completely out, there was snot everywhere and you had a handful of your gown and bed sheet two inches from the whole. I told Jackie, who was terrified, to get a nurse. She couldn't find one. I said, go to the front and tell them it was an emergency. She did. 6 nurses came running in and one of them just shoved the trachea back into the hole. I didn't think that was very sanitary. I was crying. Jackie was ushered out by the front desk lady. She was crying. When I was sure you were stable, I went to find Jackie. I talked to her about what she saw and we called mom. I called Mickey to come pick Jackie up. You really scared me Johnny! I've been sick about the "what if's"...I'm not ready to lose you. Diana came by when she got off work. She checked you out and stayed with you until mom got there. Johnny, do you know how much your loved? Can you hear us when we cry over you? We miss you! We need you to come back to us! And, Please! Please! Don't ever do that to me again! XO Jen

From Kelsie:
Hey Johnny, it's me, Christy's daughter. You have only met me when I was little. Now I'm 11 years old. I hope you wake up to see me and my mom. So, Johnny I can't wait. Hope you get better. I love you.

From Mom:
You look so handsome lying there. Wake up and charm the nurses.